Saturday, August 08, 2009

Drama Queen or Keeping it Real?

Learning the way of becoming a pastor is indeed filled with many sacrifices and pain. Over the past days I have become quite tired not just from class, but also lack any creativity and passion to do any form of ministry despite the constant need to do so. There is of course criticism and side comments that friends make with no true concern on how the recipient (feels). I used to be able to endure and absorb these things quite well, but I believe I have hit a saturation point.


It has all been a process of tearing down.

But no one builds up.

How quickly does that turn into bitterness?
Quite quickly.

At times, it seems even pointless to tell others about it, as you get the answers like " stop being a drama queen" or "you'll need to endure it".

Those words do nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is meaningless.

For one, it still resonates nothing to the core of my soul. That deep in my spirit I am feeling pain and suffering. And if being honest and upfront with what I am facing is being a "drama queen", then what's the point of saying anything to anyone?

Isn't this our biggest concern in the world? We are less and less connected to each other?
That the idea of hiding behind facades, masks, and illusions creating more and more dependence on material things to make "me" from the real me?

As a friend once told me, "You don't work out to gain strength, you work out so that you only get the looks..."

What? Is that what our world needs? Hiding behind things?

Didn't our first parents Adam and Eve do that already after they ate from the tree?

I believe Jesus redeemed all of that, he is the new Adam that reconcile all things including removing the need for hiding.

Would the Real Eugene Please Stand Up...





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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Drops Likes Stars

We plot, we plan, we assume things are going to go

A certain way and then they don't and we find ourselves
In a new place, a place we haven't been before, a place
We never would have imagined on our own,

And so it was difficult and unexpected and maybe even
Tragic and yet it opened us up and freed us to see
Things in a whole new way

Suffering does that-
it hurts,
But it also creates

How many of the most significant moments in your
Life came not because it all went right, but because
It all feel apart?

It's strange how there can be art in the agony...

-Drops Like Stars

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